Columns

“The page you’re trying to access is no longer available.” The sentence stared at me like the ominous indictment I knew was coming because of the very last exchange, which had gained hundreds of comments, all angrily aimed at me. After our twins were born, I sought to find a…

As a fan of 1990s sitcoms, I could already see the disaster coming. The star of the popular show was attempting to flambé a dish after watching his butler do it. The process was simple: heat the food in a small pot, splash it with liquor, then set it…

He lost the race. Sure, when he stepped in front of the cameras, the commentators announced all of his victories, how many Olympic medals he possessed, and how he’d been a favorite to win, but there he was, in the pool, not coming in second or even fourth, but seventh.

It was official: I hated my job. The good news was that I knew I was going to resign from my position. The bad news was that my last day was 188 days away, and I was on Day 1 of a new year. I knew this situation had the…

The chatter of various dinner conversations hummed throughout my father’s house. It was Easter weekend, and our traditional dinner for family and friends who were visiting for a local university’s homecoming was in full swing. Guests had come and filled various rooms to enjoy great conversation and food. At the…

“As a simple demonstration/ Of my independent station/ I will go and leave my blanket on the floor.” This is one of my favorite sets of lines sung by Linus in “My Blanket and Me,” from one of my favorite musicals, “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” In…

“Professor Jones!” my student wailed as she purposely dragged out the vowels in my last name. My level-three screenwriting class had been writing for almost an hour, and until her outburst, it had been relatively silent. I watched as she ceremoniously marched her laptop up to my desk and then…

By the time the 1990s rolled in, I had become obsessed with any sitcom taped in front of a live studio audience. Because all my favorite shows were spread across several networks and aired on different days, I used syndication to my advantage. After homework and maybe procrastination with certain…

Regardless of what was behind his motivation, at the 10-minute mark of the movie, we already know that a recently released convict, Danny, wants to pull off the biggest heist in Las Vegas history: robbing three casinos for $150 million. At first, Danny’s partner in crime, Rusty, deems the task…

I was flat-out sick. While I watched my peers wander around the large waiting area, laughing, high-fiving, and waiting patiently for their turn, I was curled up in the corner in my choir dress with a splitting headache and chills. It was the final solo and ensemble competition of the…