The best way to live up to my mother’s legacy

After waking up in the middle of the night and emptying the contents of my stomach all over the floor, I weakly walked to my parents’ room and woke up my mother.

When she finally understood what I was mumbling, she got up, cleaned my floor, cleaned me up, and changed my bed. After a few sips of water and some medication to lower my fever, she covered me up and was about to return to bed.

That’s when the thunder clapped.

Northern Alabama is known for its sudden and intense thunderstorms. Because my upstairs bedroom window was on what my father aptly nicknamed “the weather side” of the house, I often felt like I was facing those storms head-on. And like any young child, I was terrified every time.

When another thunder roll rumbled through the house, I opened my eyes just enough to see my mom come back into my room with a pillow and a blanket. She didn’t say anything; she just lay down on the carpet, now smelling like ammonia from the earlier cleanup, and stayed there until the storm went away.

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Like most women, I aspired to be just like my mother when I had my own children. I wanted to lie on their floor when they were afraid of storms, have a stomach of steel when they got sick, know the ins and outs of every single thing they were involved with, and be available to them 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

But life has a funny way of revealing how different people are. After having our children, I learned early that I didn’t have the stomach of steel and would often have to send my husband to do the cleanup. With four children fairly close in age, I couldn’t lie on each floor during storms. And once everyone was in school, keeping up with teachers, classes, and schedules proved difficult.

Years ago, after my mother passed away, people began to tell me how proud she would be of me as a mother. I never thought so. I paled in comparison to what I thought motherhood was.

And then I recently had an epiphany.

My own mothering

After our oldest daughter, whom we lovingly call Ladybug, was diagnosed with hereditary angioedema (HAE), we were thrown into an unfamiliar world that we had to learn quickly. I had to maintain a laundry list of medications, document flares, administer preventive medications via a subcutaneous injection, and administer emergency medications via an IV.

My duties expanded. I didn’t blink when we had to drive 100 miles for a 30-minute doctor’s appointment, or I’d have to sleep on an uncomfortable hospital couch for several days. If Ladybug needs it, I’m there. And when our other kids need anything, I’m there.

But still, it didn’t look the same as when my mother did it.

Recently, I shared with my husband, Paul, how incredible my mother was. And I talked about that fateful night when she slept on the floor of my room.

“I wish I could be like her,” I said.

“But you realize you are,” Paul replied. “You’re just a modern version of her. The difference is, she did it with two kids, seven years apart; you’re doing it with four kids close together.”

For a moment, I tried to argue with him about why my mom was so much better, but he interrupted me again.

“Baby, if you wake up every morning trying to be there for the kids, you’re just as great as your mom was.”

As moms — if we had incredible moms — we tend to think we pale in comparison to the great women that they were or are. But I realized that as long as I attack each day with the best I can do, I’m continuing the extraordinary legacy that I was given.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Note: Angioedema News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Angioedema News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to angioedema.