How do you spell holidays? For me, it’s S-T-R-E-S-S!

For many, holidays are difficult. Family gatherings, whether you experience difficulty with the social dynamics, political differences, or touchy-feely personal-space invaders, can be overwhelming. That’s especially true for those of us who have the complications of rare disease atop everything else.

Most holiday gatherings involve travel as well. Whether you’re going across town or across the country, traveling can be a challenge. The trip may be for a day or a week, but you still have to plan, prepare, and pack. During this season, that can also involve preparing food and gifts, which adds stress as well.

For some of us, the holidays also involve planning wardrobes. With some health issues, including my hereditary angioedema and other diagnoses, that means comfort and function over fashion. And don’t forget building rest times into the holiday plans, too.

Feeling the stress

Are you stressed yet, just thinking about all that? I am just from writing it. There’s the real challenge: It’s the stress! As I’ve mentioned before, stress can come from positive or negative emotions. Parties and family events can be fun, but they also involve a lot of preparation and planning. The larger the gathering, the more personalities are at play, and the stress level just goes up.

For anyone, even the largely healthy, some level of stress comes with these occasions. For those living with health issues, it goes up a notch. For those living with angioedema or other chronic, rare diseases, it cranks the dial even higher.

Most of us dealing with ongoing daily disease also experience a higher occurrence of mental health issues, as well. They can quickly become overwhelming and cause flares in our physical health. That can result in us shutting down and possibly opting out entirely and missing the festivities.

I grew up in a very small town in the Southern U.S., where everyone knew everyone else and their business. Yet mental health was a taboo subject. In middle school, when I asked to go to counseling, I was flat-out told no because it wouldn’t reflect well on the family. But family was the major cause of my stress!

Every holiday for me was about dressing up, looking perfect, being polite, and attending every event, period. Unless I was contagious, I had to suck it up and deal with it. It didn’t help that my birthday is Dec. 24, which was inconvenient and pushed aside for the greater good of family events.

Easing the stress

Since one of my children has to deal with a late December birthday as well, I try to make it special and have always had a separate celebration for him. Still, now that the family has adult children, added partners, and even grandchildren, the holidays are even more complex.

Many of my children now have to juggle their partner’s family gatherings, our family gatherings, our grandchildren’s school events, our birthdays, and multiple religious events. It’s become more complicated than I ever had to experience.

Therefore, as we sat around in our turkey-induced haze on Thanksgiving, I asked my kids how important it was to them to gather for each event. We all agreed that the whole traditional, historical Thanksgiving narrative should be revised, but we do enjoy the food and fellowship.

We went on to discuss the December frenzy and what our plans for then might look like. When I suggested we combine all the celebrations into one event, my youngest, Leah, who lives with the most diagnoses and complex health issues in the family, remarked that we’d “consolidaze” in lieu of the holidays. So this year we’re opting for less stress — just one event, come as you are, no pressure, and enjoy!

I hope you all focus on what’s truly important: your health, both mental and physical. Without that, we aren’t doing ourselves or anyone else much good, even if we smile for the photos. It’s that whole oxygen mask scenario on planes: Put it on yourself first. Please be kind and care for yourself! May your holidays and celebrations be filled with love, joy, and peace!

Note: Angioedema News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Angioedema News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to angioedema.