Learning how to navigate the ‘One-Up Olympics’
There's no reason to make a competition out of chronic illness symptoms
It’s one of Kristen Wiig’s most memorable “Saturday Night Live” characters and probably one of her most relatable.
During her seven-year tenure as a cast member on the show, Wiig popularized a hilarious and slightly annoying character named Penelope. The sketches’ premise was pretty simple: During a seemingly innocuous gathering, people try to talk about their accomplishments, feelings, or peeves. Suddenly, Penelope pops into the frame and proceeds to outdo the declaration with one of her own.
She’ll always cite better accomplishments, more significant problems, or earth-shattering news. Soon, Penelope will bombard everyone’s conversation with outlandish “one-ups” for attention. The twist comes when one of her outlandish claims (such as being best friends with Broadway legend Liza Minnelli) turns out to be true.
The sketch is always played for laughs. Wiig delivers her lines with an odd, rapid-fire whine as the character invades the spaces of those who would just like to talk about their singular experiences. Unfortunately, Penelope makes it her business to win.
When I want a good laugh, I’ll pull up Penelope sketches on YouTube. I was intrigued, however, when I saw a poignant comment under one of the videos.
“I know this is exaggerated,” the commenter started, “but I know so many people like Penelope.”
Don’t we all? And it’s way less funny when it happens in real life.
Does it matter if someone has more needlesticks?
In a previous column, I discussed how people will use their own uncomfortable experiences to relate to a person with a chronic illness. However, I’m often tired of another type of exchange that starts similarly.
When our oldest daughter, whom we lovingly call “Ladybug,” was diagnosed with hereditary angioedema (HAE), I’d occasionally come across people who’d try to match our unfortunate events with their own.
If Ladybug had to go to the hospital for a few days, they’d remember when they had to be in the hospital for weeks. If Ladybug had to get several IVs in the pediatric intensive care unit, a person might remember a moment from their childhood when they had more tubes. Even though I never had one specific Penelope, I became acutely aware of it when I found myself in what’s casually called the “One-Up Olympics.”
At first, that didn’t bother me. Although HAE is rare, I didn’t think our medical encounters were so unique that others didn’t know what we were going through. Diseases can be different, but experiences can be the same. But I wasn’t prepared for a small subset of people who wanted to prove that they’d had more needlesticks, been to more doctors, and had more mysterious symptoms.
Comparisons like these almost always become draining. I quickly learned that when navigating through caregiving for a loved one with a chronic illness, it’s less helpful to engage with people who try to turn it into a competition.
So what do I do when these conversations start? I politely end them in a way that makes both the other person and me feel comfortable.
Everyone has an individual journey to navigate, no matter what the circumstances. It’s unnecessary to see who’s winning at the best or worst of their experiences. As one of my favorite quotes by writer Erica Cook states, “I’m not interested in competing with anyone. I hope we all make it.”
Note: Angioedema News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Angioedema News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to angioedema.
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